It’s going to be difficult for your child to exude confidence if you don’t as well. Kids are like sponges that soak up everything around them. And they look at their parents to be the role models they will base themselves on. You need to be as confident and self-assured as possible.
Promote confidence building activities
Help kids with their confidence by encouraging them to take part in activities that build confidence. Sports are only a part of this, but an important part.
In addition to that avenue, encourage your children to play outside and be more active. This type of play can keep them from becoming mindless couch potatoes, but it also encourages them to explore and discover things for themselves—a major plus for anyone hoping to gain confidence.
Give them praise…
When you ask many parents what they wished their parents had done more of, it’s to tell them that they were proud of them. You know the type— “You got an A-, why wasn’t it an A+?” instead of “Wow, that’s a great grade, I’m really proud of you.” If your child isn’t acknowledged for his or her successes, they won’t be confident in their own abilities and achievements.
…but also help them make improvements
Now, if you’re going to give praise, make sure that it is legitimate. A kid can smell a false compliment at 100 paces and it doesn’t do them any good. Make sure that when you praise them, you also tell them how they can improve. Help them make these improvements. Self-advancement comes from learning from your mistakes.
Let your kids fail
This may seem counterintuitive but hang with me for a second. If your child fails and feels miserable for that failure, their self-esteem will be dashed and their confidence will be crushed. But if you point out that everyone fails, and they should look at it as a learning experience, they’ll be able to handle the trials and tribulations of later life without losing their confidence.
Prepare your kids by giving them the gift of confidence
We all want what’s best for our kids. But you can’t coddle them and protect them forever. At some point, you must let them loose on the world and hope that they flourish. But if you help them to build their confidence early, they will have the poise they need to succeed.
Even before our kids are born, we start imagining just how much they can accomplish and how we want to help them get there. One of the biggest “legs up” you can give your children is with daily reading.
Don’t believe me? A recent educational survey showed that if your child reads 20 minutes a day, they will be exposed to almost 2 million words by sixth grade and will score better than 90% of his or her classmates on standardized tests.
Reading should be organic and fluid, so it’s important to work in every opportunity to get a little reading time in. Here’s how you can do just that:
Reading doesn’t have to be from a book
Many people think 20 minutes of daily reading as plopping your child down with a copy of the Cat in the Hat. But that isn’t the only way to get in reading time.
When you’re riding around town, have your child sound out the words on street signs, banners, and advertisements. This will go slowly at first, so be sure to help them out. But as your child builds fluency, you can go faster expecting them to read more and more as you drive.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of comic books to attract hesitant readers. Educators have recently discovered that graphic novels can be a great way of promoting reading, even in the upper grades.
On a final note, television can be a good way to sneak in reading time. Just turn off the volume and turn on the close captioning and they can read along with the TV show (and some of those cartoon shows are a lot less annoying with the sound off).
Get audiobooks and apps
As an early reader, it’s important for your child to hear stories read aloud as they read along with the book. The most obvious form of this is when you sit down with your child at night to read a bedtime story.
But there are other ways for you to get this time in. Some adults may have fond memories of reading along with storybooks and audio tapes as a child.
Now, you can access many of these from sources like Audible. The energetic narrators will engage your child. For younger children, you can help them with word acquisition and phonics. Apps are available, such as Homer and Reading Magic, which can do just that. Finally, check out your local library and look for audio reading kits and books on CD.
Library play date
Speaking of the library, it’s important that you introduce your child to this wonderful place so it can become a fixture in their lives. Take your child to the library for a play date and let them explore the books. Pick one out they would like to take home for the week.
A good rule of thumb is to let your child pick one for themselves while you pick one for him or her based on your preferences. Be sure to get a book for yourself. Seeing that you value reading in your own life is a great way to encourage reading.
While you’re at the library, check out the schedule of activities and be sure to stop by regularly for story time—another great way to sneak in some reading.
Prepare to enjoy the benefits of your child reading
If reading becomes a chore, then your plan to help your child is going to backfire and they will see reading as work. Take time to subtly work in the reading without them realizing it and you have a chance to give them an advantage in today’s highly competitive world.
Being a mom at Christmas can be a totally draining experience. Let’s face it: everyone else talks about how magical the holiday is and you have the radio crooning about how it’s the “most wonderful time of the year.”
But those joyful Christmas experiences of your childhood have gone the way of the dodo and been replaced by stress and anxiety.
So this year, let’s make a resolution—one that’s only good for the month of December.
Let’s resolve to do everything we can to keep Christmas simple this year!
1. Let the kids handle the “heavy lifting”
We all know that the holidays are really about the kids and letting them make memories that will last for years to come. So, have them do as much as possible and take some of the stress off of you.
This year, set up the tree for them and then just sit back and watch while they decorate it. (Obviously, if you’ve got older kids and teenagers, they may even be able to do the tree set-up as well.) But just sit back on the couch and supervise while they hang their favorite ornaments and the stockings up
2. Go digital
Every year, I spend hours trying to sign and address individual Christmas cards to my friends and family. Not this year.
Join me in simplifying the holiday and go digital with your Christmas card. You can still take an updated family picture and use that for your card. But just send out an email/digital card and save yourself time, aggravation, and postage money. (And keep in mind: your friends will probably appreciate it just as much since they won’t have to worry about discarding the card. Hey, it’s even more environmentally friendly!)
3. Let someone else do the cooking
If you remember a childhood of wonderful homemade Christmas meals, please don’t feel like you have to live up to those. On the big day, there is no reason why you should be stuck in the kitchen trying to prepare a turkey or ham while everyone else is sitting in the family room playing with presents and watching TV
Instead, consider buying your holiday meal pre-made from a local restaurant or catering service. Then, all you have to do is warm it up and no one has to know the difference.
There is nothing wrong with gift cards
I’m really tired of people getting judgmental about gift cards. Usually, the complaints center around the belief that the card is impersonal. But really, they aren’t!
If you buy someone a gift that doesn’t fit, that they already have, or they just don’t like, then you have given them an extra job—having to trudge back to the mall and exchange it. But with gift cards, your gift recipient can buy whatever they want and will really appreciate the opportunity to pick up the perfect gift.
And that’s a level of stress that you just don’t need. I’ve spent many a day at the mall freaking out about whether a gift was “just right.” This year, I’m cutting out that stress and letting them find the gift that is best for them.
You don’t have to spend your holidays totally stressed out so that you live in dread of next Christmas. Instead, do your best to make the holiday as simple as possible so you can enjoy the time with the rest of your family.
It’s an ongoing debate that ultimately just boils down to family preference so…
You either fall into the “Santa Claus brings out the magic and fun for kids” or the “We don’t believe in lying to our kids” group.
I’d have to say that from what I’ve seen and heard, this debate is pretty much even on both sides. And I completely understand the viewpoints from both sides
Personally, I never grew up believing that there was a Santa. I knew exactly what was under the Christmas for me because I picked it out myself. Because we didn’t have much money and what was purchased were things of necessity, like clothes and shoes.
But now with 2 kids of my own, I bought into the tradition of creating the fun and magical moments for my kids that I never experienced. I enjoy seeing them wake up on xmas morning excited to know that Santa came to visit them and left them something special.
At 10 and 8 years old, my kids still believe I think, but I know the time is coming where I’ll need to decide whether to continue to try and keep them believing or tell them what really is going on.
So previously, I’ve been able to get away with their questions with these responses…
“What do you think?”
“How do you think the presents get there?”
It’s usually not confirming or denying but reflecting the question back to them. My kids never pressed the issue but if you have very inquisitive kids, you might not get away with it so easily.
Some moms have used these responses to continue the tradition…
“I guess you have to figure that out for yourself”
“Santa is only real if you believe and if they don’t, then he isn’t real to them”
“He has a special key that unlocks any door for houses without a chimney”
“If you don’t believe, you don’t receive!”
If your kids stop believing, here are some responses that may help you explain why you been telling them about Santa all these years…
“Santa is a part of the spirit of Christmas”
“Santa may not be real but the magic of Santa is”
“The spirit of Santa was real”
“St Nicholas was real and Santa was a fun story that makes Christmas magical.” You can even go on the internet together to read up on the history of St. Nicholas.
And if you have kids that take it really hard, I absolutely love this letter that I came across the internet somewhere to help explain the spirit of Santa Claus. There are many versions of this but I really like this one. (And if this belongs to you, please let me know so that I can give you the proper credit for it)
If you have younger siblings, you could even convince your older child who now knows what really happens that they can help continue on the spirit of Santa to continue making it fun for their younger siblings.
Kids love being a part of something that the adults plan and especially if it means they know something that their siblings don’t.
So I think that is definitely what I will do when the time comes. I have my canned responses but I will also use a response similar to what’s in the letter. It captures exactly what we all aim for when introducing Santa into our kids lives.
“Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness.”
At the end of the day, it really is about enjoying quality time with family and friends, the spirit of giving and creating family traditions and memories.
Hopefully you are prepared with extra funds set aside for this time of year because from now on until the end of the year, everywhere you look, there will be some kind of a sale.
Some kind of advertisement that lures you in to thinking that you absolutely must have it.
Marketing experts are sneaky sneaky. They know how to push through to your weakness.
But whatever you do, don’t give in to it!
If you know you tend to overspend AND you know that you can’t afford to, this information is…
FOR YOU!
I get it. I love sales. I love getting a bargain. I love deals! And with online shopping so readily available, it makes it impossible to not be tempted to buy something all in the convenience of your own home.
And if you don’t stay disciplined, you will find yourself putting a way bigger dent on your bank account than you can really afford to.
Let me help you with some ways to do that.
Follow these tips to make sure you stay on track and prevent yourself from going on a shopping frenzy only to wake up one morning after the holidays are over and see how much money you overspent.
Make a list. Write down all the people you would like to purchase gifts for and as you come across sales, buy with them in mind only. I know how tempting it is to want to purchase things for yourself but YOU MUST RESIST the urge to do this.
Be realistic. You know exactly how much money you are capable of spending. Take that amount and drill it into your head and don’t spend more than that. If it helps, keep a note on your phone with that amount and deduct from it any amount you buy in gifts. That way, you have a real time running total.
Find an accountability partner. Once you determine this amount, tell someone who you can trust to keep you accountable to stick to your number. Someone you can call to talk you out of it when you are tempted to purchase something you shouldn’t.
Be clear. It’s super easy to get distracted from our shopping list when we come across something that we would like for ourselves. But let’s be clear and honest with yourself and before you decide to buy something, ask yourself the question, “Is this a need or a want?” “Am I going to die if I don’t purchase this thing right now?” If the answer is “no”, then you don’t need it. You have to remember that you have a whole list of people to buy for so if it’s a want, it can wait until after the holidays when you have accumulated some extra funds to spend
Stick to the plan. Resist temptation. Fight the urge. Quickly buy the presents as soon as you can and stay away from the stores or online shopping. There will always be sales on stuff. And hey, if you end up with extra money after buying everyone their gifts, then treat yourself to something with the remaining amount.
If you know you always spend too much money during this season and end up resenting yourself for it later, then do yourself a favor and be in control of it this year.
It’s awesome to be the person that has tons of gifts to share. But guess what, it’s not so awesome when you’re the person that had to rack up a huge bill because of it.
It just is not worth it.
So remember, know your limits and stick to it!
You will thank me for it after the holidays are over and you still have money in the bank to pay the bills.
A lot of moms nowadays identify as a helicopter parent because they want to keep their kids safe. You may sometimes restrict your kids’ movement to ensure their safety, but this doesn’t always equate to helicopter parenting. In my opinion, there’s a big difference between being a helicopter parent and making sure that your kids are safe.
Worrying for your child’s safety is what any responsible parent would do, but going to extreme measures is another story.
Being overprotective and overbearing like any other helicopter parent may be detrimental in the long run. You need to identify the difference between what is a helicopter parent from that of a responsible one.
By doing so, you are letting your child grow, but what is a helicopter parent, exactly?
What is a Helicopter Parent?
Learning the traits of what a helicopter parent is can be helpful in avoiding becoming/being one. Here is a list of what I think a helicopter parent does:
Doing things for your kids even if they are capable of doing it on their own.
Setting impossibly high standards on your kids.
Not allowing your kids to do what they want even if they are in a perfectly safe environment.
Stopping your kids from experiencing new things because of your irrational fear of the outcomes.
Making decisions for your kids as much as you can.
Do any of the items in the list resonate to you?
I get it, a lot of us can relate to some items on the list, and it’s perfectly normal. We want to make sure our kids have everything they need since It’s our motherly instinct kicking in!
While these feelings are normal, acting on them by being overbearing and overprotective to your kids isn’t gonna help.
Effects of Helicopter Parents to their Kids
We have the tendency to overlook what the effects of helicopter parents to their kids are and become one, ourselves.
Now that we’ve clarified what is a helicopter parent, learning on the effects of helicopter parents to kids comes next.
Commonly, the effects of helicopter parents to their kids include:
Their kids become indecisive and helpless.
Their kids have low self-esteem
Their kids finding it difficult to cope
Their kids become too dependent on others and,
Their kids become entitled
These traits may be common in younger children, but these shouldn’t persist as they grow into their adult lives. Hence, it is important to identify early on if you are a helicopter parent or not to prevent these effects.
Are you a Helicopter Parent, or not?
There is no perfect parenting style in the world, so we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. More so, we shouldn’t be too hard on our kids as well.
I believe we should assess our parenting styles frequently to come up with an effective style that best fits our kids. By learning what a helicopter parent is and the effects of helicopter parents to their kids, you can adjust accordingly.
We want our kids to grow holistically and become successful, and these things can only be achieved through experience. As Julius Cesar once said, “experience is a great teacher..” and we shouldn’t be afraid to let our kids learn.
If we let them learn, we are giving them the opportunity to grow into the best citizens that they can be.
Are you a helicopter parent, or not? What are your thoughts on it?
I’d love to hear them; just leave me a message or make a comment below.
Struggle with staying on top of your bills and budgeting?
Do you stress out and dread when the 1st of the month rolls around?
Tired of living paycheck to paycheck?
Have constant arguments with your spouse around the family finances?
Have no clue on how to even get in control of your financial life?
Download this FREE Monthly Budgeting Action Plan, which includes Worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly on what you need to do to set up your own family budgeting plan that works for you and your family.
Struggle with staying on top of your bills and budgeting?
Do you stress out and dread when the 1st of the month rolls around?
Tired of living paycheck to paycheck?
Have constant arguments with your spouse around the family finances?
Have no clue on how to even get in control of your financial life?
Download this FREE Monthly Budgeting Action Plan, which includes Worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly on what you need to do to set up your own family budgeting plan that works for you and your family.
Do you struggle with getting your kids to clean up their room?
Are you ready for your kids to be more responsible?
Would you like your kids to be able to manage their time better?
Ready for a simple way to teach your kids good money management habits?
Download this FREE Family Chore and Money System Action Guide. It includes worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly what you need to do to set up your own chore, schedule and money management plans.
