have to admit that so far, I am enjoying this age the best. Both our kids now fit into this age group and even though there are still constant battles and daily struggles, we are loving the ability to travel around and do more family activities together where everyone can participate. The best part is that you can travel without having to pack so much stuff.
Whether you’re a stay at home mom or a working mom, we all still face similar challenges but ultimately, we all have the same goal and that is to ensure our kids are safe and that we create the most optimal learning and growing environment that we can to the best of our abilities.
Juggling between school activities, extra-curricular activities, household chores, family and friend events and even personal time feels at time to be impossible. We do our best, do what we can and that’s all what it boils down to most days.
Setting routines during this time is the one thing that will be your saving grace and help you keep your sanity most days. The earlier you can do this, the better it will be. There are always days where it’s just impossible to stick to that routine but that’s ok. If the routine is already ingrained in their minds, it will be a lot easier to adhere to overall.
Set up morning, afternoon, night, and weekend routines. There will be a lot of trials and errors until you find what works best for your family. These are some of the routines we have set in our household (that did not happen overnight):
Mornings: Kids wake up, brush their teeth, get dressed, make their beds, come downstairs and get their backpacks ready for school, unload the dishwasher, eat breakfast, and off to school they go. Not every morning is perfect and neither are their beds sometimes. But the repetition of that routine is more important than perfection.
Afternoon/Night: Come home from school, eat a snack, homework, dinner, shower, special time, bedtime. Depending on extracurricular activities that occur will dictate the order and time to devote to each activity but overall, the kids know what to expect. We also give them a heads up so they are mentally prepared to transition to the next activity, which I believe is helpful and creates less resistance.
Weekends: The only routines we have around this are getting their laundry done, folded and put away, cleaning up their rooms before any screen time or before we go out anywhere. Again, if there are events scheduled, it may not necessarily get done in that order but the goal for the weekend is to get those done before the new week starts.
Putting these types of routines into place will help you get through your day tremendously.
As parents who grew up not having any opportunities to participate in sports or extracurricular activities, we work very hard to allow that for our kids. This is the perfect time to allow them to explore what’s around them so that they can figure out for themselves the things they enjoy and don’t enjoy. Our goal is to expose them to as many new experiences as possible.
Image by uvmybry via Pixabay
This is also the time when they are really settling into their own opinions and personalities. Their independence. Which means it’s very important to establish rules and boundaries and responsibilities. We talk alot about good and bad choices. Let them do as much for themselves as possible. I’m a firm believer in promoting their independence as a life skill so that they don’t need to rely on others as they get older.
Unfortunately, this is the time when the kids also start being exposed to things around them that we may not necessarily want for them. Things like peer pressure, bullying and negativity. The one thing we feel that is very important to establish early on is having that line of communication open.
We are still working on this on an ongoing basis but the gist of it is that our kids need to feel comfortable with coming to us with their problems and questions. If we get this into place right, it will positively impact them later down the road when the problems and questions they have will be more complicated.
This example I thought was great came from a class I had taken in the past: Kids get sort of a “get out of jail free” type of deal. If they did something wrong, they can freely come to us knowing that they won’t get punished or disciplined. It is to promote them being able to come to us to talk about something that is hard for them to share. The process is not that they get out of trouble per se.
This is meant as a teaching moment and they need to be able to communicate and understand the what and why of their actions as well as provide a solution or future actions of handling it. Repetitive bad choices of course is a different course of action but hopefully with certain measures in place, they will start to recognize and make those better choices.
At this age, as much as they feel they are independent and feel like they know what’s best for them, they don’t of course. They need to know there are rules, boundaries and that they are old enough to be responsible for their actions. Some days, it’s a constant power struggle but we’ve quickly learned to pick our battles.
There are things we’ll let them get away with and some things that are absolute nots. It is not ok to slam doors but it is ok to be upset or sad about things. It is not ok to hurt others but it is ok to take out your emotions in your own room. It is ok to voice your own opinions but it’s not ok to be disrespectful.
They need to know and understand and have respect. If these aren’t set early on in their life, it will be very challenging to get them to follow the rules.
This is also the age where they become very aware of their own body parts and how it’s changing. Kids need to grow up knowing that these changes are normal and to not be ashamed of their bodies.
Coming from a Catholic asian home, things like puberty and sex education was never discussed. Falling into the same lines of open communication, this is also another important topic to add to that.
We bought books to help us open up that line of communication. It doesn’t have to be a full on “this is how and where babies really come from” conversation but an introduction to it that is appropriate for their age. I bought a book called “It’s Not The Stork!” that we read together as a family.
Image source: Amazon
In my opinion, I’d rather that they learn the right facts from us first, rather than their friends and peers.
One final thing we also want to impart on our kids is to learn that money doesn’t come from trees. Money is not a privilege. Money is earned through work. We’ve made many bad financial decisions and we want to make sure our kids grow up making good decisions with money management as well. We allow them to earn money through various jobs they can do around the house.
They feel very proud when we take them to the store and they pay for their own toys with their money. They will also spend it very fast but that’s ok. It’s an ongoing lesson on them figuring out what’s worth it to buy and what’s worth it to save for. We have them split up their money they receive as gifts into different portions. Some to reserve to spend on anything they want, some to save, and some to donate or give to those in need.
Things aren’t perfect. Things don’t always go as planned. Different challenges will come and go. There’s the famous line in Forrest Gump that goes, “Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you’re gonna get”. That speaks truth in so many ways. All we can do is equip our kids with tools in their belt so that they can tackle all the challenges that will come their way in the next phase of their life.
Are there any moms out there that knows the secret to having the perfect mornings because I can always use as many different tools in my tool belt as possible. As some of you may already know, a strategy of handling a specific situation will not work every single time so it’s helpful to learn multiple ways.
Being able to send my kids off to school in the mornings with everyone in a happy, positive mood is what I strive for and is what sets the tone for the rest of my day.
I love the mornings when my kids are smiling, getting along with each other and not bickering at each other every 5 seconds. When that happens, it usually means I can get them to school on time and we’re not rushing.
It also means this mom is in a much happier mood and allows me to be more mentally ready to tackle all the things on my to do list for the day. I don’t know about you but when I’m in a good mood, my thoughts are clear and I really do feel like I can take on the world.
These are the kind of mornings that I would like to have more of:
My kids get up on their own, brush their teeth and get dressed without a word. I hear them laughing and joking around with each other.
They come downstairs and my daughter pours herself a cup of milk and asks her brother if he would like a cup, and continues on to pour a cup for her brother. They eat breakfast and continue to smile and laugh with one another. They are being so nice to each other. Wait? “Is this really happening,” I think to myself?
Image by Hal Gatewood via Unsplash
I make a comment about how wonderful their behavior is and they both just smile and grin from ear to ear because they know they are being good.
So they hold on to that feeling of proudness and take it even a step further by finishing up their food without being reminded. I don’t hear a peep of snide remarks or bickering at all. I think to myself, “awww, they really do love each other”.
I haven’t had to break up an argument or nag at them or even raise my voice to get them to calm down.
On the way to school, we’re smiling and laughing. Singing along to the songs on the radio. We’re ALL in a happy mood. It’s so amazing. Love those days!
But of course, with kids being kids, most mornings don’t usually look like that. Not even close.
So what does a typical morning look like for me? I’ve heard some experts say that it’s not good to rush your kids in the mornings, but how can you not? They would be piling on the late school slips if there wasn’t some degree of urgency.
Not a morning goes by when I don’t hear my daughter saying to her younger brother, “Stop!!” or “I’m telling mom” or my son having a meltdown because after the 10th time of his sister yelling stop, I had to step in to give him my peace of mind.
Then comes the morning rush hour where I’m pushing to get lunch packed, jackets on, backpacks on, shoes on, so we can get out the door and be dropped off at school on time. This typically goes with me saying all of these statements at some point:
“ok you got 10 minutes before we have to leave”.
“Preston, you haven’t even eaten anything on your plate yet!”.
“Put your lunches in your bag and lets get ready to go”.
“What do you mean you don’t know where your jacket is?”
“Why did you not give me this paper to sign yesterday?”
“Let’s go, it’s time to go!”
“5 minutes!”
“If you don’t get your shoes on this minute, we are going to be late”
“Come on, let’s go, inside the car”
Days like this, I just want to pull my hair out and in my head, have thoughts of all these different plans that needs to be put into place the very next day because dealing with this every morning is getting oh so tiring.
Image by composite via Pixaba
Then there are those days where everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. You drop your kids off at school only to find out they forgot their lunches and even worse, their shoes! So you have to drive all the way back home and back to school, and now you’re frustrated because you’re going to be late for work.
Most, if not all moms will agree with me that mornings in their homes are pretty hectic. People who know me know that I am always trying to find new or different ways to make the daily struggles easier or run more smoothly.
When I learn about a new process and try it out and it doesn’t work as well, I move on to the next thing. Which is why I constantly love to hear from other moms who are doing something different that works because there’s a good chance it will work for our family as well.
Over the years, these are some of the processes I have found that helps to move things along in the mornings:
⚪️ I have my kids lay out their clothes the night before so they know exactly what to wear.
⚪️ Instead of wasting time in the morning trying to figure out what they want to eat for breakfast, I have them decide the night before so that I can wake up and just make it.
⚪️ I have them pack their bags and leave them near the door so it’s all ready to go.
⚪️ I’ve used a white board to list out things that needs to be done to help remind them what they should be doing and in what order. It helps to put them back on track when they deviate. (Although, as long as I can see that they are getting things done, I really don’t care what order it gets done. But it helps them to be able to refer to something if they need a little reminder).
⚪️ To minimize the sibling quarrels, my daughter wakes up to her alarm 15 minutes earlier than my son so that she can use the restroom first.
⚪️ I buy them their own mouthwash and toothpaste. This alone has stopped so many silly arguments from occurring.
⚪️ Once in awhile, they know that if they are fully ready for school ahead of schedule, I’ll pass by the Starbucks and treat them to a hot chocolate at Starbucks. Yep, sometimes, I do resort to a little bribing and I’m okay with that.
Image by Alexas_Fotos via Pixabay
It’s not perfect and it doesn’t always go as planned every morning. But many times, having these routines in place does make the morning run more smoothly, which means I have a better chance at setting a more positive tone for the rest of my day.
What does your mornings look like? Share in the comments any tips you have that has worked well for you. We’d all love to learn about it.
These are the years when it does really start to get fun. The little ones are turning into tiny human beings with minds of their own and with no worries in the world of their safety or the world around them. They are curious explorers and can very easily get themselves into a heap of trouble in a blink of an eye.
They’re old enough to walk and run around everywhere you go but not old enough to understand why they shouldn’t stray away or do certain things. If you were worried about them getting into stuff when they started to crawl, take that and kick it up a notch or two because now it’s everything they did, but now on steroids.
Bumps and bruises will start happening when they start walking and climbing everywhere. For this very reason, we were inspired to create a cute, simple and easy to use first aid kit that can be thrown in a diaper bag or purse so moms can quickly grab a bandage to take care of the boo boos. You would be amazed at how quickly the tears go away once a bandage is put on.
Now they are bigger and can access even more things around the house like opening up cabinets to play with whatever toxic cleaning materials you have in there. They think it’s fun playing with the medicine cabinets, the toilet, your dirty shoes all the way to any makeup or markers you have laying around.
Image by yohoprashant via Pixabay
Everything that you have been dealing with in year 1 continues into the toddler years. Things like lack of sleep, staying on top of household chores, and the normal day to day kid activities. Except now, you are doing more things during the day. You’re taking them out on playdates, introducing them to new kid activities, enrolling them in different fun toddler classes, getting them to try new foods and perfecting the art of saying “no” to them a million times a day.
Our saving grace was that we were able to sleep train our kids to have them sleep through the night before they turned 1, which helped us tremendously. This, I believe hands down, saved our sanity because we weren’t sleep deprived. Which meant we had energy to run around chasing after them.
Now lets not forget about the dreaded potty training age where you do everything in your power to convince them to pee and poop in either the real or fake potty. When bribing or praising doesn’t work, you will resort to begging and as hard as you try, but after the 100th time of cleaning the sheets and/or carpet, there may even downright be some yelling out of pure frustrations.
It was not easy. Waking up a couple times during the night to change wet beds and giving them a shower because they are soaked in pee. Changing clothes and cleaning up wet spots all day long. As difficult as it will be when you’re actually in the moment, it is best to train them only when they are ready for it. I definitely learned this the hard way.
Now if there’s anything to prepare for during these years, it would be the wonderful phase we call the terrible 2’s and even worse, the terrible 3’s. They will get what they want, when they want and will show you who is in charge. To them, the word “no” actually means “yes, keep doing what I’m doing”. They will test your limits, so pick your battles to keep your sanity because at the end of the day, you will be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted!
If they aren’t already in daycare, they will soon be entering preschool. Be ready for constant runny noses because being around lots of other kids in close quarters means more germs are being spread around and your kids WILL bring the bug home. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do with this one. The daycare can be the cleanest with the best sanitizing policies in place but at the end of the day, there’s not much they can do to control germs from spreading from one kid to another when they are in such close quarters with each other and playing with the same toys throughout the day.
Gone are the days when you can just take off to the grocery store to pick up a thing or two. When you have no other choice but to take your little ones with you to run errands around town. It’s much easier to do this with a newborn than a toddler, that’s for sure. What used to be something that would easily take you just a couple of hours will now take you half the day to do if not more. You now need to count in time to feed, diaper changes and/or potty breaks. If you’re lucky, you can get through all that without any temper tantrum outbreaks. No more leisurely strolling down the aisles. It’s get in and get out ASAP.
If you have read this far, you are probably thinking something along the lines of “holy smokes, I am so not ready for that!’
There is good news. You will have your good days. All it takes is to watch them sleep so peacefully that will melt your heart and soul and you will forget everything that happened that day. Some days they will say the darndest thing that will have you laughing like crazy. Or the days when they show you their work of arts, smiling from ear to ear. You will be one proud mama. But best of all, when they climb into your lap and all they want to do is just snuggle and give you hugs and kisses. Those are the best.
The best advice I and some other moms who have survived the toddler years can give you is the following:
Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The terrible 2’s & 3’s will pass. They will learn how to pee and poop on their own time. They won’t remember when they fell and got hurt. They will get sick, but they will get better.
Set up routines for everything.
Go on playdates. You need social interactions as much as they do.
When going on errands, pack a small bucket of toys to keep them entertained. Pack plenty of snacks.
Have a fully stocked diaper bag
Shop online whenever possible. It will save you so much time.
Find ways to include your child in household chores when they are able.
Add some fun into their clean up process like using “a clean up song”
Let go of being a neat freak or hire a housecleaner if you can. The house will get clean…eventually.
Just like the newborn phase, there’s nothing like going through this phase yourself to be able to experience and appreciate all the wonders having a toddler can bring and quite frankly, some of your most very challenging years. Get ready and buckle up. It will be an amazing ride.
Today’s society keeps us on the move. It has made us believe that multi-tasking is a good thing, never being present in the moment…always thinking about what’s next on the to-do list. Because of this mentality, the family has started to sever and become distant.
How many times have you been at the dinner table or seen people at a restaurant on their phones instead of engaging and communicating with each other? It happens so often that there are commercials about it.
There are a few ways to keep the family close and not allow this epidemic to take place in your life.
1. Get Back to Family Time– make a day of the week that the family gets together without any devices and catch up on what’s going on in each other’s lives.
2. Take or Update the Family Photo– If it’s been years since you’ve taken a photo together or if you’ve never taken one at all, this would be a perfect opportunity to do that.
3. Cook Dinner Together– For many cultures, the kitchen is the place that brings people together. Involving the children in cooking safe meals or even just helping to set the table is a wonder way to have everyone involved.
Struggle with staying on top of your bills and budgeting?
Do you stress out and dread when the 1st of the month rolls around?
Tired of living paycheck to paycheck?
Have constant arguments with your spouse around the family finances?
Have no clue on how to even get in control of your financial life?
Download this FREE Monthly Budgeting Action Plan, which includes Worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly on what you need to do to set up your own family budgeting plan that works for you and your family.
Struggle with staying on top of your bills and budgeting?
Do you stress out and dread when the 1st of the month rolls around?
Tired of living paycheck to paycheck?
Have constant arguments with your spouse around the family finances?
Have no clue on how to even get in control of your financial life?
Download this FREE Monthly Budgeting Action Plan, which includes Worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly on what you need to do to set up your own family budgeting plan that works for you and your family.
Do you struggle with getting your kids to clean up their room?
Are you ready for your kids to be more responsible?
Would you like your kids to be able to manage their time better?
Ready for a simple way to teach your kids good money management habits?
Download this FREE Family Chore and Money System Action Guide. It includes worksheets with step by step instructions on guiding you exactly what you need to do to set up your own chore, schedule and money management plans.
