According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of a Supermom is “an exemplary mother; also: a woman who performs the traditional duties of housekeeping and child-rearing while also having a full-time job.
On the outside looking in, this mom appears to very well organized, crafty, resourceful, cooks, bakes, and still manages to somehow keep herself fit, well dressed and have a social calendar. When you go over to her house, everything is neat and tidy. She tracks and manages all the household activities without a glitch.
She has her kids under control at all times. Her kids get read to every night. She is very health conscious and makes sure her family eats well. There are freshly cut fruits and baked snacks on the kitchen counter for afterschool snack. She is very involved at her kid’s school.
These are the moms you come across and ask yourself, “How the heck does she have time to do all of that?”
Now truly, has anyone really ever come across a mom like that… except in the movies?
I mean there are days I feel like I am supermom because I really do need to juggle everything and all by myself because my husband is away from work for days at a time. And if you’re a single mom, you are hands down automatically a supermom.
But most days my kids are lucky if they have a hot meal on the table for dinner every night.
Let’s face it, us moms (and dads) have a lot on our plate, especially when you are juggling activities for more than 1 child. Some days it feels like you can’t even keep your head on straight because you’re being pulled in all sorts of directions.
So I am going to take it one step further to redefine what a supermom is. My new definition of a supermom is someone who manages to keep the household and family running smoothly, provides a positive environment for their kids to learn and grow and while also contributing to the household income one way or another.
So do Supermoms really exist?
I say Yes!
You’re a supermom if you accomplish any of the following:
Your kids are fed, even if it means eating leftovers for 2 days straight.
Your kids are clothed, even if it means they need to rewear their socks because you haven’t gotten around to doing the laundry yet
You look forward to being able to surprise your kids and see them jumping up and down in excitement when you tell them what you have planned for the weekend for them
You read to and with your kids regularly (not necessarily EVERY night)
You watch out for all aspects of their safety
You make sure things get done, even if it means delegating
You bake cupcakes for your kid to bring to school to share with their classmates, or rush out to the store to buy store bought ones. 🙂
You support and guide them to make good decisions
You teach them, one life lesson at a time
The truth is, we are all supermoms in our own ways. We each have our own special powers. And it doesn’t mean we have to perform them all at once either. We all have one main goal for our kids…that we raise them to grow up and live a happy and meaningful life.
We’ll all be taking different paths but at the end, we all want the same outcome. If we accomplish that, we, as parents have done our jobs and will have really lived out our supermom ways.
One of the hardest things for me to do as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend is to make time to do something just for me. I’m the one that tends to want to make sure everyone else around me is taken care of first.
Now why would taking time out be so hard for me to do?
Others have no problem whatsoever taking off on a girls outing or going out and enjoying themselves. I, on the other hand, have this huge guilt when I even think of doing anything outside of working and being with my family. I feel like if I’m away from them for even a bit, I’m letting them down for some reason.
If I’m not working, I’m doing something with the kids. If I’m not doing anything with the kids, I’m taking care of things in the household. And when I’m not doing that, I’m out and about tending to other things that needs to get done that day.
Anyone else relate to that?
By the end of the day though, I feel so drained. After the kids are in bed, I myself can’t wait until I too, can turn the lights off and climb into bed. And when I do, I breath a big sigh of relief because now, I can relax my body and not have to do anything else.
Deep down, I know that is not the way to a long term healthy lifestyle. Just like how the flight attendants remind us that we need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves before our kids, I understand that we must find ways to recharge us before we are capable of properly tending to those around us.
There are some days where I feel like I could just pull all my hair out. At the end of the night when I lay down and reflect upon the day, I ask myself, “was I the best mom and wife I could have been today?” Many times, that answer is “No”.
Thoughts like “I shouldn’t have raised my voice at the kids earlier,” or “I could have been more present with my husband,” and even “I should have handled that situation better.”
There have been times where I’ve had to go away on a business or work trip for a few days and after coming back, I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. But the best part is, I find myself being more patient with my kids and wanting to spend more time with them and the family.
So it makes complete sense that if we want to get through the days being the best mom and wife we can be, we need to step away and take time for ourselves.
What would something like that look like? What would recharge your mind, body and spirit? It’s going to be something different for each person because we all have different interests and what we consider fun and relaxing.
Image by rhythmuswege via Pixabay
Here are some ideas that I feel would help me out every so often.
Take more naps. When you’re sleep deprived, you have a tendency to be more easily upset when things happen or have less patience for things. (At least it is for me anyways) It is well known that when you take daily afternoon naps, it’s healthy for you overall. According to a published Harvard Health Newsletter, “The 20- to 30-minute nap may be the ideal pick-me-up” time.
Go get a massage. This is of course a luxury because it will require more financial and time resources, as well as someone to babysit the kids. But if you can pull it off, it’s a must do.
Be a happy couch potato. Spend a whole day while the kids are out with someone other than myself, binge watching my favorite show on Netflix and eating ice cream…without feeling guilty.
Go out to coffee or lunch with an old friend and just catch up. Sometimes, you just need to have interactions with people other than your kids and get a chance to have some adult conversations.
Sleep in every once in awhile! I am so not a morning person and I love to sleep. It feels so great to not have to jump out of bed to get the kids ready or make breakfast or do this or do that. Even if it’s just once or twice a month, it feels so wonderful.
Don’t cook and eat out. Trying to figure out what to eat everyday is so painful. If you’re lucky enough to have someone in your life that loves to cook, then count your lucky stars. Going out to eat saves time on prep, cooking, and clean up time. Of course this can’t be done all the time but I think once or twice a week if you can would help out so much.
Go shopping at the mall by myself. I’m not much of being in crowded areas but there’s something about just roaming the mall or shopping center by yourself is so enjoyable. You can look at things or try things on…in peace! No worrying about where the kids are every 2 seconds or telling them to stop running around. I have to admit, retail therapy does wonders…if you have the financial means to that is.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter the activity, just as long as you give yourself time to recharge. Some people find gardening, knitting, or even just reading very rejuvenating. Or even exercising (Something that I can never understand but many moms find this very energizing). Find whatever it is that works for you.
Yep, it’s going to be challenging. Especially when you have kids in the infants and toddlers age. Most days we can’t even go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door as soon as you sit down. We’re resourceful though. Make it happen. Schedule it in. Designate a “this is mommy time” so everyone knows.
But as Nicholas Sparks states, “Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.”
At the end of the day, we know we are worth it. We know our husbands, family and friends are worth it. We owe it to ourselves to be the best us that we can be so that we can show up for the rest of the world, and be the best that we can be for them.
Share this with a mom who you know needs a friendly reminder to take some time out recharge.